People Who Use Chopsticks…

BY: DALTON

People who use chopsticks really grind my gears. If I look over and you’re eating Panda Express with chopsticks, news flash fella, YOU AINT BETTER THAN ME. I see you over there with that smug ass look on your face as you eat that orange chicken between two pieces of bamboo, don’t think that gets by me. Just use a damn fork, its so much more efficient.

There are a few exceptions to the hate though:

  • If you are of any type of Asian decent
  • If you are in an Asian country
  • If you are in any type of “China Town”

Thats it. Otherwise, if you are a white person in America, don’t be so extra. Just use regular utensils.

Plan the Parade!

BY:DALTON

I did it! Well, we did it. The Detroit Pistons have won the 2017 NBA Fantasy Draft title. First off, I wanna give credit to Blake Graber and the Houston Rockets. They gave us one hell of a fight over the course of 6 games. With that being said, the cream always rises to the top. When we were down 2 games to 1, there was never a doubt about who was going to win the series. The resiliency in this locker is second to none. Coming into this season everybody and their mothers had us as the second worst team in the NBA. Well, everybody except Las Vegas and joshbobdotcom columnist Dalton Potocki. He wrote in his season preview:

“What can I say? He did it again. Every player that Dalton drafted fits his offensive scheme. If they can get hot, look out because not even the rain they bring from deep could cool them off. This is such a Dalton team it hurts, he got his boys on a roster and the reports from camp are that the team chemistry is already through the roof. The bench is maybe the best in the league, being led by the Sauce King Brandon Jennings and JR “The Pipe” Smith. Then when you thought the roster was perfect, the GM went and traded Ian Mahinmi for Donatas Montiejunas. The only issue could be lack of athleticism on defense (white) and finishing at the rim. This is the odds on favorite to win the whole thing. Vegas has them at -3500”

 

While Brandon Jennings and Donatas Montiejunas didn’t finish the season with us, their contributions in the beginning of the season allowed us to trade them for people who could contribute more.

I have to give a special shout out to our budding superstar, Kristaps “God” Porzingis. He had one of the greatest NBA Finals in basketball history. He averaged 33 pts, 12 reb, and 5 blks. With out him we wouldn’t have been able to bring a 4th championship to the Motor City.

The Parade route will go down John R to Woodward, into Campus Martius, down to Cadillac Square and then we party it down at Lafayette Coney Island. Free coneys for anyone wearing a Mike Muscala 6th Man of the Year jersey.

Updated Shit List

BY:DALTON

Well folks, I found it. And I’m not talking about Trump’s sense of dignity. I kid folks; it’s at Putin’s house. We like to joke around here. But seriously, I found my old Shit List and taking a look back into the past, I can’t help but notice the results.

Here is the old list:

  1. Dean Blandino
  2. John Beilein
  3. Wall Street Fat Cats

 

Lets get into it. Since Dean found himself as Personal Enemy #1, he faced a line of scrutiny and is now in a line of his own, the unemployment line. Coach Beilein probably saw his name and said to himself, “Well I have to get off that list!” so he decided to wait a year and take his team on a deep tourney run. That will get you off the list. As for the WSFCs, they must not have gotten the notice.

Considering that 2 of the 3 on the list are now off, it is time for a much-needed update.

 

UPDATED SHIT LIST:

  1. Wall Street Fat Cats
    1. When the top two get knocked off, it’s a non-stop flight to the top.
  2. Roger Goodell
    1. This is really a placeholder until I get pissed at someone in the officiating office. But watch where you step Rog.
  3. Aaron Rodgers
    1. Toss up between him and LeBron James. Cant stand both of them but Rodgers inflicts much more personal pain. His family hates him and I hope he looses his money in some type of internet scam.

Luke Kennard/Draft Grade

BY: DALTON

Well, SVG decided to go with the Dukie, Luke Kennard. I know there are questions about him as a player. He can shoot, which is what the Pistons desperately need but, c’mon, it’s Luke Kennard. The worst part though? The Pistons were so damn mediocre this year and so underperforming that it’s hard to get emotional one way or another. Do I think Kennard will be an all-star? No, I do see his ceiling as an Evan Fournier though and his floor is, Pistons fans brace yourselves, Kyle Singler. Kennard is a shoot first guard who has a bit of a drive game. I’m just expecting it to be an ok pick until the Reggie/Andre situation is resolved. To me, this pick looks like a last ditch effort to keep the pick-and-roll as the primary style of offense.

 

Grade: C+, could be better but at least it will resolve shooting issues off the bench.

Lakers Management Does the Right Thing

BY: DALTON

So incase you haven’t heard, the Lakers traded D’Angelo Russel and Timofey Mozgov to the Nets for Robin Lopez and a first round pick this year. People are calling this a move to free up space to sign a big free agent or trade for a big name player, i.e. Paul George. But, the Lakers front office can’t fool me; I know what this move is all about. The Lakers have chosen to side with Nick “Swaggy P” Young and I couldn’t agree with the decision more.

The Lakers play in L.A. (no duh) and this was about picking an L.A. guy over a non-L.A. guy. Compare the two, Russel is young, athletic, can score the rock, has a high ceiling, and will develop into a nice player. Young is swaggy and when you play in the City of Angels, swag is everything. Russel is a great basketball player but Swaggy P is an entertainer and the Staples Center is for entertainers only.

If this move surprises anyone than you’re a big dumb stupid idiot. Look who the GM of the Lakers is right now, Magic Johnson. Yea, the same one that was on the SHOW TIME Lakers. No one in the NBA is more show time than Mr.Swaggalicious. So I tip my cap to you Magic, I wasn’t sure if you could cut it as the GM of a franchise, but credit where credit is due.

Obligatory:

Swaggy P

Super Smash 2k League Draft Grades

BY: DALTON

 

The Super Smash NBA 2k league kicked off last night with one of the most anticipated fantasy drafts of all time, and let me tell you, it was not short of its billing. There were home run selections and many, many, many questionable picks. While the draft just finished some GMs have already made moves to bolster their rosters because in this league, a 14 game season, there is no time to waste.

 

LakersWordmark

GM: Doug Freeman

Roster:

  • Dame Lillard
  • Ben Simmons
  • JJ Redick
  • Jordan Clarkson
  • Javale McGee
  • Wes Matthews
  • Joakim Noah
  • Luc Mbah a Moute
  • Nick Young
  • Patrick Patterson
  • Jeff Withey
  • Marcelo Huertas
  • Jared Dudley

Analysis: There are certainly some solid pieces on this team. Playoffs are not in question for this team, as they should easily make it in. The real question is how far can this team go. Dame will certainly get his and Redick will help with floor spacing but the questions come with the stability of the centers. Javale and Joakim present issues in the health and brains department. The bench is thin and outside of Redick 3 point shooting can become an issue. If they want to make a big push then Doug is going to have to get on the phone and make some moves.

Grade: B-

Suns Logo

GM: Dallis Reynolds

Roster:

  • Gianis
  • Dwight
  • Jamal Crawford
  • Rudy Gay
  • Nikola
  • Skal Labissiere
  • Rajon
  • Mo Speights
  • Danny Green
  • Brandon Bass
  • Raul Neto
  • Omri Sasspi
  • Michael Carter Williams

Analysis: My first thoughts when I saw this roster were, “Oh my god, how can this many good players be on the same roster?” Then I remembered it wasn’t 2008. All the playmakers on this team are over 30 years old, outside of Gianis. Danny Green will also need one hell of a year from beyond the arc because there are no other knock-down shooters on the current roster. Nikola is going to have to have a year like 2013 to get this team in to the playoffs. The only thing they have going for themselves is they can play defense and score around the rim.

Grade: C

Rockets Logo

GM: “Steve” Blake Graber

Roster:

  • Mike Conley
  • Eric Bledsoe
  • Lou Williams
  • Marcus Morris
  • Markieff Morris
  • Ryan Anderson
  • Joe Johnson
  • Tiago Splitter
  • Jodie Meeks
  • Jose Calderon
  • Troy Daniels
  • Jordan Mickey
  • Luke Gregory
  • 2018 First Round Pick

Analysis: When you look at the Rockets roster, there isn’t one name that jumps off the page. But, there are some playmakers (Conley and Johnson) and the Morris Twins can contribute on both ends of the floor. The front office also made a splash by moving Marc Gasol for Eric Bledsoe AND an unprotected, projected lottery pick next year. With the extra cap space and two first round picks, the future is bright. But, I am going to cut straight to the chase, the grade of this draft hinges on what Luke Gregory can contribute. Luke Gregory is a 2k Make-A-Wish player and while he is only 6’4 110 lbs. the boy can absolutely stroke it from deep. If he can knock down his 3’s the success of this team will be plentiful.

Grade: A-

Nets Logo

GM: Benn Braden

Roster:

  • Zach LaVine
  • Malcolm Brogdon
  • Joe Ingles
  • Evan Fournier
  • Buddy Hield
  • Zaza Pachulia
  • Yi Jianlian
  • Aaron Brooks
  • Beno Udrih
  • Boban Marjanovic
  • Matt Bonner
  • Troy Williams
  • James Jones
  • 2017 First round

Analysis: Before the draft, Braden made it publicly known that he is drafting to tank and his corresponding moves have already reflected the “Process” mentality. He moved his best players for Buddy Hield and a 2017 first round pick. The best way to sum up this draft is with a quote from their own GM, “In 4 years, we are going to win 8 straight championships” and I can agree that they are at least 4 years from relevancy.

Grade: F

Pistons Logo

GM: Dalton Potocki

Roster:

  • Kristaps Porzingis
  • Reggie Jackson
  • Ersan Ilyasova
  • Kyle Korver
  • Terrance Ross
  • JR Smith
  • Mike Muscala
  • Donatas Motiejunas
  • Jon Henson
  • DeMarre Carroll
  • Shaun Livingston
  • Brandon Jennings
  • Aaron Afflalo

Analysis: What can I say? He did it again. Every player that Dalton drafted fits his offensive scheme. If they can get hot, look out because not even the rain they bring from deep could cool them off. This is such a Dalton team it hurts, he got his boys on a roster and the reports from camp are that the team chemistry is already through the roof. The bench is maybe the best in the league, being led by the Sauce King Brandon Jennings and JR “The Pipe” Smith. Then when you thought the roster was perfect, the GM went and traded Ian Mahinmi for Donatas Montiejunas. The only issue could be lack of athleticism on defense (white) and finishing at the rim. This is the odds on favorite to win the whole thing. Vegas has them at -3500

Grade: There simply isn’t a letter high enough

2k Loog.

Dalton Does America: Final 2 Days

BY: DALTON

June 16-17, 2017

Mostly travel days. Biggest thing to come out of the last two days was that we got to stop and eat at a Chick-Fil-A, a.k.a. God’s finest eating establishment. The CFA sauce is so damn good it is unreal, so obviously I kept asking different employees for more sauce so that way I had some to take home. Hey, CFA, please bottle your sauce and sell it for $1,000 a bottle, I’ll buy 20. Other than CFA, not a whole lot got done. Devon and I watched Hateful 8 for the 3rd and 4th time all the way through. I had a ton of fun on this vacation and got to see a lot of things I usually wouldn’t be able to, but it was time for it to end. A vacation where a family never really leaves a 25 foot radius of each other and, after a week, tensions start to run a little high.

You won’t believe what Miley Cyrus said on Jimmy Fallon! (also my weed smoking celebrity baseball line-up)

BY:DALTON

Via Daily Mail

“I stopped smoking because, to sit here and to talk about what I’m doing I want to be really clear, because I’m actually the most passionate about what I’m doing with this record.”

When Fallon asked her how much weed she had been smoking, Miley replied: “A lot of weed”

“No one has ever died from weed, but no one has ever smoked as much as I did”

 

So Miley Cyrus went on Fallon and talked about how she quit smoking weed to make this new album. To her quitting a habit, good for you Miley. Good for you for putting out a new album and really feeling passionate about it. I have a lot of respect for people who pursue their passions. And she’s right; no one has ever died from doing the marijuana. But here is where I take exception with Miss Cyrus. THERE HAVE BEEN THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE SMOKED MORE WEED THAN YOU. I know a hand full of people within a mile radius of me who smoke more weed than you. But Dalton, can you give me some names? Yea and guess what? I’m going to give you an entire line-up of people who smoke more weed than Miley.

 

  1. Snoop Dogg-Who else would lead off this line up? Dude is as consistent as it comes. Speed, power, and style. He does it all. Also, fuck spell check for marking his last name wrong. I didn’t accidentally hit the “g” key twice; I am talking about the Snoop D O double G.
  2. Willie Nelson- Solid two hitter. Not the first guy you think of but when his name gets brought up you go “OH YEA, that’s right, Dalton you’re so smart”
  3. Bob Marley- The man is the face of weed. I need him to get as many at bats as possible. When you become the Jerry West of bong hits, you are the star of the line up.
  4. Cheech Marin- Guy built a career off of the hijinks that happen when one is high. He fits the clean up hitter mold too. He doesn’t fit all the advanced metrics but he is an old school guy that when he connects, someone in the cheap seats is getting a souvenir.
  5. Tommy Chong- Obviously Chong was coming next. Tommy bats 5th because you cant separate these two and the name is Cheech & Chong, not Chong & Cheech.
  6. Seth Rogan- The premier stoner actor. From the munchies eating to the iconic laugh. As manager of this team, it is a blessing to have a player of this caliber this deep in the lineup.
  7. Josh Gordon- Guy lost his job because he cant stop smoking weed. Also, gave us the iconic Stephen A. Smith line “LAY OFF THE WEEEEEEEEEDUH”. Not for nothing, the best athlete on this list.
  8. Dave Chappelle- Joked about it all through his career, in his new specials and his old ones. Dave and his white friend Skip got into a lot sticky situations when they were high, but thank god they figured out where 3rd street was.
  9. Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton-bill clinton

P.S. The first 6 guys in this lineup were really hard to order. If you have any suggestions or revisions, just comment below.

Dalton Does America: Days 3,4, and 5

BY: DALTON

June 13-14, 2017

Nothing really note worthy. Did some touristy stuff around New Mexico. Went shopping and ate some good Mexican food. By far the most relaxing two days. Also, since Best Western redid their hotels, I’m a big Best Western guy. They have high quality rooms at an affordable price. WOW!

 

June 15, 2017

 

Only a few roadside stops but they were quality. We did a lot of driving too and in that driving we watched “The Hateful 8” for the second time in two days. A+ film and it may be my favorite Tarantino.

 

11:20 am CST: Bristow, Ok. Really set the tone for the day. A big auto sign and it was nowhere near the biggest thing we saw that day. It was pretty neat though to just see a huge advertisement in the middle of a residential area of the town.

IMG_1237

1:37 pm CST: Catoosa, Ok. To be completely honest with the readers, this was one of the main reasons I wanted to go on this trip, The Blue Whale of Catoosa. I’m not sure what it is about a big plaster whale in the middle of a pond in Oklahoma that I’m so fascinated with, but hot damn it was sweet to see. I cannot recommend this stop high enough. I give it an 8/7 rating.

img_1239.jpg

5:50 pm CST: Ross Township, Ks. Biggest surprise stop of the trip so far, Big Brutus. This was a place dad wanted to stop but in the end it was well worth driving 30 miles out of the way. I can’t describe how big this machine actually is, the only justice I can give it is reciting a few stats. 16 stories tall, 11 million pounds, and it cost $27,000 a month to operate it in 1974 dollars. To put it in perspective, that’s $113,000 in 2017 dollars. Absolutely unreal how massive this thing is.

IMG_1241

Dalton Does America: Day 3

July 12th, 2017

 

9:00 am CST: Woke up and had a bowl of Special K. Not important now, but will play a role later on.

 

12:40 pm CST: Shamrock, Tx. The U-Drop Inn was an old gas station that was restored within the last 15 years. It was the inspiration for the architecture of the towns in Radiator Springs from the movie Cars. How the hell did they make 3 Cars movies?

IMG_1224

3:10 pm CST: Amarillo, Tx. Stopped for lunch at the Big Texan restaurant. They have a 72 oz. steak dinner where if you eat it in an hour it’s free. Wanted to attempt it but that damn bowl of Special K that I had 6 hours ago really had me stuffed. Settled for a 9 oz. rib eye.

IMG_1226

3:40 pm CST: Amarillo Tx. The Cadillac Ranch is these 8 old Cadillacs in the ground that people come and spray paint. Pretty neat art idea. There was this old guy there who was absolutely livid, but I wasn’t sure what he was mad at. He just said, “This is what happens when you give art to people, they ruin it. This is ‘American’ Art at its finest”. Absolutely heated at what the exhibit was intended for.

IMG_1227

7:00ish pm MST: Got some pretty cool scenery in New Mexico. 10/10 would recommend people come visit.

IMG_1232

8:55 pm MST: Gallup NM. Pulled in to the El Rancho Hotel, our only planned hotel of the trip. I can honestly say it is one of the coolest places I’ve ever seen/stayed in. It is where movie stars in the 40’s and 50’s would come stay and brother, they haven’t changed a thing on the inside. Truly like stepping into the past. They have added A/C, which honestly, is an essential.

IMG_1230

9:15 pm MST: While watching Game 5 in the hotel room, a huge and heated debate about new school basketball vs. old school basketball breaks out. Devon and I vs. Dad. No side won and no opinions were changed. Look for this debate to be revisited several times in the future.

Dalton Does America: Day 2

BY: DALTON

June 11th, 2017

 

9:10 am CST: Mt. Olive, Ill. Soulsby Service station was constructed in the early 1900’s and was a Shell station the entire time. Haven’t seen that type of loyalty since Jesus and the apostles. Well, except for Judas, obviously.

IMG_1218

9:15 am CST: Dad starts yelling at the entire car, Mom for driving too fast and Devon for eating sunflower seeds. Could be a long day

 

9:45 am CST: New Douglas, Ill. Pink Elephant antique store with some OUTRAGEOUSLY high priced antiques. El. Oh. El. No chance anyone buys anything. Ever. (Rare photo of the Potocki Boys together)

IMG_1219

10:13 am CST: Dad and Mom bet if Route 66 runs through Kansas. Dad says it doesn’t, Mom says it does. Mom is right and Dad tries to argue his way that it doesn’t count because its only a little bit. Devon and I wont let it pass. Big W for Mom.

 

10:25 am CST: Collinsville, Ill. Brooks Ketchup plant is now closed. HOWEVA, it has the World’s largest ketchup bottle. If you read my Day 1 blog, you know why we stopped.

IMG_1220

10:48 am CST: Just crossed the Mississippi River into Missouri. Just drove across the bridge, not sure what Lewis & Clarke found so difficult about that.

 

12:00 pm CST: St. Louis, Mo. Sitting by the river, looking at the Arch, and all I can think of is how great of an organization the Cardinals are. RIP Rams. Fun Fact: The Arch is as high as it is wide (630 feet)

IMG_1221

2:24 pm CST: Fanning, Mo. World’s second largest rocking chair. Was World’s largest from 08-16. Some bastard in one of the Dakotas probably stole that title.

IMG_1222

8:00 pm CST: CRAZYTOWN, Mo. This random gas station wanted $1.29 for an Oatmeal Cream Pie. WTF? Whatever Trump is up to in the White House, but he has to take care of this tragedy. NOW!

Crazy pills

8:24 pm CST: Joplin, Mo. The garage that Bonnie & Clyde got into a shoot out with. Pretty ridiculous that it happened right in the middle of a neighborhood. Closest thing I’ve ever been to a shoot out was the Monday before Mardi Gras, I probably took a billion shots that day.

IMG_1223

8:48 pm CST: Missouri/Oklahoma Border. BY GAWD THAT’S JIM ROSS’S MUSIC!

hqdefault

11:31 pm CST: Edmund, Ok. Cant find a hotel off the expressway. Just get so frustrated we drive to the nearest Holiday Inn Express, 5 miles away. Day 2 completed.

Dalton Does America: Day 1

June 10th, 2017

2:00 pm EST: Pick up rental vehicle. It’s a Dodge Grand Caravan and Dad is absolutely elated that it’s not an import.

 

2:30 pm EST: Dad hasn’t stopped talking about what a beautiful vehicle the mini-van is.

 

5:45 pm EST: Stop for Dinner-ish. Eating sandwiches in a Tim Horton’s parking lot. Got Tim’s afterwards. Was managed by a guy named Tom Brady. Hmmmmm.

 

7:30 pm EST: Dad complains about how cocky semi drivers are and how U-Haul lets anyone drive their trucks. I promptly show him the Family Guy U-Haul clip.

 

7:34 pm EST: Devon and Dad have their first fight. It’s over the volume of the music. “Yea, its gets pretty loud back here. Have you ever sat in the back of your van?”-Devon said in a real sarcastic tone. Dad retorts, “If its too loud, you’re too old”. The music is Dean Martin.

 

7:06 pm CST: Traffic is backed up at a tollbooth just outside of Chicago. I take this time to bring up that tollbooth workers have the highest rate of suicide per worker. Pretty sure this isn’t a fact but I heard it once when I was younger so therefore, fact.

 

7:41 pm CST: Whole car starts bitching about how the roads in Michigan suck

 

7:44 pm CST: Wilmington, Ill. Stop to see the Gemini Giant, the first of the muffler men giants, and he is GLORIOUS

IMG_1198

8:02 pm CST: Braidwood, Ill. Picture at the Polk-A-Dot Drive Inn. Elvis was rumored to die here.

IMG_1200

8:25 pm CST: Gardner, Ill. Visited a 2-cell jail constructed in 1905. Per the recording, “No real dangerous desperados were held here”. No chance this little building could hold these guns (slaps biceps)!

IMG_1202

8:44 pm CST: Dwight, Ill. Stopped at the Ambler Texaco station. Heard about how the wife would cook food for stranded motorists and the husband would give out candy to kids. Not in business to make money, in it to make a living.

IMG_1204

9:38 pm CST: Dad makes the usual complaint that every product he loves gets discontinued. While it seems far-fetched, I have to kind of agree with him.

 

10:10 pm CST: Atlanta, Ill. “Dad, there’s another muffler man in Atlanta” “If he’s the same we’re not going to stop” “This one has a hot dog” “I’m putting it in the GPS now”

IMG_1205

10:30 pm CST: Lincoln, Ill. World’s Largest Covered Wagon. Voted #1 roadside attraction by Reader’s Digest. I’m a sucker for World’s (adjective) anything.

IMG_1216

11:14 pm CST: Springfield, Ill. Morale is running low. Devon is asleep. Dad asks if I really want to stop, I give an “absolutely” with great authority. I wasn’t going to miss the 3rd and final muffler man.

IMG_1217

12:15 am CST: Litchfield, Ill. Mom finesses the lady at the front desk of the Hampton Inn to get us a room for $70. Thus concludes day one.

The Cavs Decided to Listen

BY: DALTON

I would be too humble if I didn’t take any credit for the Cars blow-out win over the Warriors in Game 4. I told the Cavs that if they didn’t like Curry stunting all over them then they should do something about it, and they certainly did. They turned in a perfect performance and thats what they need to do to beat this Warriors team. Take a look at the box:
Screen Shot 2017-06-10 at 11.00.24 AM

In the first half they put up a record 86 points. No one could miss. Then halftime hit and some, me included, thought that there was no way that the Cavs could keep up that shooting pace. They, me included, were wrong. Any time that the Warriors put together a little run to try and get back in it, someone on the Cavs hit a big shot.

You can look at that box score and many things jump off the page. To me, the three point shooting is the most impressive part. The Cavs starters combined for 21 threes. Kevin Love was 6/8! Kyrie was dazzling once more and LeBron casually put up another triple-double. It was a perfect offensive performance.

There in lies the problem. The Cavs played absolutely perfect, yet you couldn’t go to bed early because a Warriors barrage of threes can come at any time. Is it possible for the Cavs to come back from being down 3-0? Well, until someone wins 4 games it is technically possible. But, with 2 out of 3 remaining games being at Golden State and the only way we’ve seen the Cavs win is if they shoot 52% from the floor and the Warriors shoot 28% from three, I find it very unlikely that the Cavs win the next three. Maybe Ty Lou finds a different way to beat the Warriors, but until we see that new strategy, I can’t envision a way that the Warriors lose 4 in a row.

P.S. I have a few complaints: 1) Please start games in Cleveland at 7 pm. Late starts are dumb as hell. 2) The Refs were absolutely embarrassing for the NBA last night. I don’t think they had an impact on the final result of the game but in a potential series deciding game, with outstanding performances all around, the talk of the game will be the refs. What the hell are you doing NBA? The two best teams deserve your best officiating crews.

Cavs=Trash

BY: DALTON

So Bleacher Report reported that the Cavs are upset at Curry’s squat celebration after the KD dagger with 40 seconds left.

DB4k3ctUAAAPbLB.jpg-large

Hey Cavs, if you don’t like Steph theoretically shitting on your home floor, FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Wanna know how to silence the critics and keep opposing players from showing you up? Don’t give up an 11-0 run in the final 3 minutes of a must win game. For you guys to just choke away a game and then get all pissy about a player celebrating/taunting doesn’t make any sense. When the Cars were winning its all just fun and games. “What did you think of the new Kendrick?” Questions like that get a big laugh and response out of the self-proclaimed “King”. But now that they are on the verge of getting embarrassed the Cavs are gonna take joking around as personal attack? Grow the fuck up. Celtics players were mad when the Cavs were clowning during their series but now they are down and can’t take the heat. For shame Cleveland, for shame.

P.S.It makes me so happy that the Warriors are gonna sweep, you would have thought I was born in Oakland.

Fire Alarms Are Kinda Worthless

BY: Dalton

Is there anything more widely ignored in this country than fire alarms? I mean, a fire alarm goes off in class and literally everybody ignores it as if it were signaling that everything is fine. It is actually insane. We, humans, invented a device that alerts us from being burned alive in a fiery blaze and we just sit there and turn the other cheek. In fact, we find it an annoyance. The alarm goes off, we just sit there and hope it turns off. After 10 minutes of it going off we don’t even rush to get out of the building, we begrudgingly pack up our shit and walk slowly down the stairs and outside. Hell, some people wait for an elevator. It’s truly astounding.

Now, who is to blame for this lack of urgency? The public school system. They would run drills like 5 times a year and each time we were more lethargic. Now, as a college student, I am completely desensitized to them. Everyone is. So, here is my plea to Betsy DeVos, once you figure out the bear problem that is plaguing our public schools, please please please please get rid of fire drills. Just have the teachers tell the kids to leave the school. I don’t want to die in an inferno because I thought that it was just a drill.

Power Rankings of Ignored Things:

  1. Fire Alarms
  2. Homeless People
  3. Facebook posts advertising blogs that I’ve wrote
  4. Terms and Agreements to anything