LOB 2022 NFL Playoff Calcutta Auction Review

Credit: Washington Post


Team: Titans (1)…..Owner: Matt O’Brien…..Price Paid: $135…..Grade: D+

  • First Round Opponent: Bye
  • Simply on the numbers, getting a number one seed for the fifth most money in the entire auction would seem like an absolute steal. But, sadly for Blair, we do not live in a logical or fair world. By HIS OWN calculations the Titans will have to win it all for him to come up net positive. I have some words of advice for young Matti Wan KenO’B, a fool and his money is soon separated. And brother, your money just handed you some divorce papers.
Credit: The Athletic

Team: Chiefs (2)…..Owner: Trey Slominski…..Price Paid: $230…..Grade: B

  • First Round Opponent: Stillers
  • Personally, I think that the Chiefs are the class of the AFC so you can never go wrong with the favorite. Given the format, are the Chiefs $230 good? Maybe. They should reach the Super Bowl and the NFC can shake out in any direction. Andy Reid is never a bad bet whether it be in a punt, pass, and kick, or the NFL playoffs. I think I would love it a touch more if Trey showed some respect and didn’t draft at the bar. From the looks of it, he may be a Jim Irsay-type owner.
Credit: jacksonmahomes

Team: Bills (3)…..Owner: Dalton Potocki…..Price Paid: $125…..Grade: A-

  • First Round Opponent: Patriots
  • A good price, for a great team, bought by a better owner. The Bills hardest opponent will be the Patriots (reason this isn’t an A+) and if they can get over the Billy B hump, they should find themselves in a showdown in Kansas City. BBQ vs Wings, the matchup the country needs.

Team: Bengals (4)…..Owner: Trey Slominski…..Price Paid: $95…..Grade: C+

  • First Round Opponent: Raiders
  • I know that the days of the Red Rifle are long gone and the one that got away from Urban is captaining this ship but I just do not like the Bengals. Sue me. Ok, actually, Trey please don’t sue me because I know you would. Alas, no matter how litigious you want to get, you will never be able to recuperate the social debt you took on when buying a team with out an offensive line and relies on a running back of, at best, questionable morals.
Credit: NFL

Team: Raiders (5)…..Owner:Dalton Potocki…..Price Paid: $60…..Grade: C

  • First Round Opponent: @ Bengals
  • Jesus F. Christ, did Chris Berman buy these teams for Dalton? Despite buying two Fastest Three Minute favorites, Dalton’s monetary success lies heavily on the Bills. I caught up with the frugal purchaser after the draft and heres what he had to say, “Ya know, they might be the team of destiny this year. With the passing of Madden and the $100 million expulsion of racism, it may be time to gamble on Vegas.”. Just for fun, the RRRrrrraaIIIDDeerrrrssss.

Team: Patriots (6)…..Owner: Brendan Kaiser…..Price Paid: $60…..Grade: A-

  • First Round Opponent: @ Bills
  • I dont know much about Brendan, but I do know that he got very solid value in New England. $60 for Bill Belichick? Love it. In lieu of any personal attacks on a complete stranger, here is a 2010s style top-text-bottom-text meme to keep you satiated.
Credit: LiveAbout.com

Team: Steelers (7)…..Owner: Steve Townsend…..Price Paid: $25….. Grade: F+

  • First Round Opponent: @ Chiefs
  • Woof. Paying $25 for any team is usually a good deal in a calcutta just given the nature of payouts and such but, again, woof. The Steelers are are not in a good spot. The team looks ready to quit on Tomlin. Big Ben is much past is prime, but are we truly surpised that despite everyone telling him “no” he just did what he wanted? …..allegedly
Credit: larrybrownsports.com p.s. would on all three


Team: Packers (1)…..Owner: Les Weipert…..Price Paid: $170…..Grade: N/A

  • First Round Opponent: Bye
  • In good faith, I cannot give this pick a grade. I despise the Packers and Kaaron Fraudgers more than anything. All things considered though, $170 for the one seed in the NFC is a fair price. I have two very very large worries for the Pack though. 1. Winning games in Lambeau is just something that Rodgers refuses to do. 2. Heaven forbid, and I mean FORBID, a COVID outbreak occurs in the locker room. While I am sure that most, if not all, of the Green Bay team is vaccinated, you would hate to lose some special teamers or depth guys to the highly contagious virus.
Credit: Jason Redmond / AFP

Team: Buccaneers (2)…..Owner: Trey Slominski…..Price Paid: $180…..Grade: A+

  • First Round Opponent: Eagles
  • Out of Trey’s entire stable of teams, I like the Bucs the most. Not just because they are the second best team, but I like his $180 price for them much more than his $230 paid for the Chiefs. The Bucs should have a relatively easy path to the NFCCG and, worst case scenario, they play in Green Bay, a place they have won before. Tom is the GOAT and at this point in his career it would be incredibly foolish to think he couldn’t win at lease a couple of playoff games. I don’t feel like finding another pic of Brady so you get the Deflategate meme again.

Team: Cowboys (3)…..Owner: Jack Lang…..Price Paid: $100…..Grade: A-

  • First Round Opponent: 49ers
  • I really like the Cowboys this year. At their best their defense is a turnover-creating machine and their offense is as explosive as any. At their worst? They are a middle of the road football team. They have a very high floor and are playing a pretty mid San Francisco squad. An even $100 for this team is incredible value. Just keep Dak away from Panama City and the Boys should be How Bout’in teams through the playoffs.
Credit: Daily Snark

Team: Rams (4)…..Owner: Tyler ????? …..Price Paid: $110…..Grade: B-

  • First Round Opponent: Cardinals
  • It is just so incredibly tough to love spending $110 on a guy who has historically performed poorly in big spots. Since Stafford is no longer on the Lions, he has lost the “team sucked” safety net. Will that add some pressure? Sure. Enough to cripple the best team he has had around him? Probably not. Even if they get by the train wreck that is the Arizona Cardinals, I am not sure if they got the testicular fortitude to win two games. Also, are we sure Cooper Kupp isn’t Amish? No lip hair, wears blue, works really hard.
Credit: NFL

Team: Cardinals (5)…..Owner: Justin Gerber…..Price Paid: $50…..Grade: C+

  • First Round Opponent: @ Rams
  • Congratulations Justin, you bought the best train wreck in the NFL. My goodness this team is in free fall. Good news is that 32-year old, 2-time back surgery recipient J.J. Watt is coming back to the defense. Bad news that they still suck ass and Kliff Kingsburry is the poster boy for why attractive men need to stay out of football. The only thing saving this grade is the fact that you only spend $50 on them.

Team: 49ers (6)…..Owner: Trey Slominski…..Price Paid: $80…..Grade D+

  • First Round Opponent: @ Cowboys
  • Another Trey team and this one is the worst of the bunch. For $80 you might have a better time with Jimmy G’s girlfriend than watching him play football. If only Brent Musberger were still in the booth to give us a play by play on Jimmy G’s girlfriend. Not only are the 49ers not good, they are also playing a good team in the Cowboys. Shanahan? More like Man-oh-man does this team stink. At least they have the best uniforms in football. That has to count for something.
Credit: New York Post

Team: Eagles (7)…..Owner: Patrick Kaiser…..Price Paid: $40…..Grade: D-

  • First Round Opponent: @ Buccaneers
  • The only redeeming quality of the Eagles are that they share a city with the show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Instead of me having to talk about a bad team, here is the gang arguing about the Bible.

2020 Starting QB Power Rankings


I typed out this list in a group chat so I don’t want it to go to waste and will post it here. This is assuming each QB is healthy and I will separate by tiers.


  1. Patrick Mahomes- Chiefs


2. Lamar Jackson- Ravens

3. Dashaun Watson- Texans

4. Russel Wilson- Seahawks


5. Drew Brees- Saints

6. Dak Prescott- Cowboys

7. Matthew Stafford- Lions

8. Carson Wentz- Eagles


9. Matt Ryan- Falcons

10. Cam Newton- Patriots

11. Jimmy Garoppolo- 49er’s

12. Aaron Rodgers- Packers

13. Tom Brady- Buccaneers

14. Ben Roethlisberger- Steelers

15. Kirk Cousins- Vikings

16. Kyler Murray- Cardinals


17. Phil Rivers- Colts

18. Ryan Tannehill- Titans

19. Josh Allen- Bills

20. Baker Mayfield- Browns

21. Jarred Goff- Rams

22. Joe Burrow- Bengals

23. Derek Carr- Raiders

24. Teddy Bridgewater- Panthers


25. Gardner Minshew- Jaguars

26. Drew Lock- Broncos

27. Daniel Jones- Giants

28. Sam Darnold- Jets

29. Tua Tagovailoa- Dolphins


30. Justin Herbert- Chargers

31. Mitch Trubisky- Bears

32. Dwayne Haskins- Washington


The Wings Got Screwed. Now What?

By: Danny Ryan

The NHL Draft Lottery (Pt 1) was last night, in case you didn’t hear the 5 people on twitter yelling about. While the longstanding fans of Team E finally ended years of misery by taking home the #1 prize, the Original Six Detroit Red Wings fell in the draft for the 4th consecutive year. Team E will get to play in the Stanley Cup Playoffs and then be able to select generational talent Alexis Lafreniere, because, why not? The Red Wings were on the verge of having one of the worst seasons in recorded history before coronavirus put them out of their misery. For that, their reward will be a good, possibly very good, player that will help them in the future, but is not the cure to their lackluster roster. Optimism tells me that picking #4 is still going to help this team in the future, pessimism reminds me that players like Lafrienere don’t just grow on trees and that this current roster is a load of barf. Nevertheless, we persist. Now is time to give up the Lafreniere dream and start doing the real digging on what pool Detroit will be selecting from. The top 3 is all but solidified of Lafreniere, Quinton Byfield and Tim Stuetzle. While NHL teams do have a tendency to reach on players and shake up mock drafts in the past (see Canadians/Zadina), this may be the most clear-cut top 3 we have had in years. The only real shakeup I envision, is Stuetzle being taken over Byfield, but even that feels like a reach.


  1.     Alexis Lafreniere – Team E

        This is happening and we will not talk about it. Don’t Google him. Picturing him in a Blackhawks, Penguins, Canadians or Maple Leafs jersey will not help.


  1.     Quinton Byfield – Los Angeles Kings

The Case for Taking Him

        The Kings are blessed with a loaded prospect pool with a diverse skill group across the board. They took Alex Turcotte in the 1st round last year and even though he did not fully live up to expectations at Wisconsin, he still projects to be a #1 center in the NHL. With Byfield and Turcotte down the middle, the Kings would have a vaunted pairing that could compliment each other well. Byfield is big and imposing but doesn’t sacrifice any skill with his size. He has great hands, good playmaking ability and is not known for being slow. Evengi Malkin comes to mind. The Western Conference teams love big centers and you need some size down the middle to succeed in the Pacific. By drafting Byfield and Turcotte, the Kings can happily say they have handled Anze Kopitar’s succession plan as best as possible.

Why He May Fall

        Really the only the reason the Kings pass here would be for Tim Stutzle. Stutzle has shot up the draft boards in the past year and some scouts have him as the #2 ranked prospect. The Kings may have a preference for the German, but ultimately that should not effect the Red Wings. While it would be a massive reach, keep an eye for Canadian defenseman Jamie Drysdale in this spot. The Kings do not have a clear cut #1 Defenseman prospect and they could see a reason to reach if they are satisfied with Turcote and Gabe Vilardi/Rasmus Kupari down the middle.

  1.     Time Stutzle – Ottawa Senators

The Case for Taking Him

        The German phenom has had the biggest rise out of anyone during this draft campaign. Playing for Moritz Seider’s old team Alder Manheim in the DEL, Stutzle was playing against grown men and thrived. He showed elite playmaking sense and can make everyone on the ice around him better. During the World Junior Classic, the upstart German team made waves and a lot of that was due to Stutlze. Playing as a young 17-year-old, Stutzle exceled against the older competition on his way to a point per game performance, including a beautiful assist against the US. Stutzle is a set it and forget it type player. Throw him on the ice with whoever, watch him fly around and do whatever he wants, good things will happen.

Why He May Fall

        Its hard to imagine any universe where Stutzle falls past the Senators here. If anything, he is going #2 instead of #3. The Senators have a barren cupboard of talent right now and Stutzle would immediately start on their team. They have good defensive prospects, so I don’t see Drysdale going here, since they could have him at the #5 pick.


Now the real fun begins. There are still good players available, but the Red Wings are going to have a hard time deciding. They could use a #1 or #2 Center, some top 6 wingers, some bottom 6 wingers, another top 4 defenseman and I won’t even mention the Goalie situation and will choose to worry about that in the 2027 Stanley Cup Finals. You could make an argument for any of these players, but these just so happen to be my preference. Again, if any of the top 3 fall, Steve Yzerman should be raising his hand on Zoom immediately to draft them, but instead we will be preparing for reality.

  1.     Lucas Raymond, Frolunda, SHL, Winger

        When we talk about Stutzle’s meteoric rise, it fails to mention who he passed along the way. Raymond was a consensus top 3 pick this time last year after a dominant u17 year. In an age group that was constantly referencing the record-breaking US team lead by Jack Hughes, it was Raymond who propelled Sweden to steal the u18 World Championships. Lead by a hat trick and game winner in the final against top goalie Yaroslav Askorav, Raymond showcased his skill against the best players in his age group. He is silky; can create off the powerplay and on 5 on 5. Raymond tends to find open spaces in which he can work and always plays with his head up. His hands are delicious, and he has no problem looking to shoot when the opportunity is there. The reason he fell in rankings this year, is because he had a pedestrian first year playing against grown men. The SHL is no joke of a league and he did not take the step many expected to see. While that may be cause for concern, Raymond still has the highest ceiling of the remaining prospects and could end up being the Red Wings best player. Que me fantasizing him teeing up clap bombs for Zadina.

  1.     Cole Perfetti, Saginaw, OHL, Center

        Sooner or later the Wings are going to have to address that #2 center spot and get some depth down the middle. While you would like to get someone who could compete with Larkin at the #1 spot, Perfetti is a great consolation. Perfetti is a really good player who has been a consistent point getter during his time in the OHL. He can play wing, so that versatility could come in handy if/when the Wings are able to take another center in the top 5. He is not going to wow you with his skill but is the stereotypical player who will get the job done. Right place, right time kind of guy. Smart, two-way capabilities and not bad on the power play. While Raymond is more of a creator on his own, Perfetti makes his living off seeing the game and following it to where the plays are happening. Perfetti’s next season should be the most telling of his longterm projection. Another year in the OHL and a hopeful spot on Canada’s WJC roster could go a long way in showing just how good he can be.

  1.     Marco Rossi, Ottawa, OHL, C

        A diminutive draft darling, this pick would admittedly fall under the category of a Steve Yzerman pick. Rossi’s only real knock is that he is 5’ 9”, which plays into the tired Hockey trope that he will get bossed around and be too wimpy. That fails to point out that he led the OHL with 120 points this past season. Rossi knows how to score; he knows how to create, and he is not a liability on defense. He seems to always have his head up looking to make a play at all times and knows how to have the game flow through him. While he is listed as a center, he would be another candidate of moving to the wing at some point in his career. The Red Wings need offensive players with high end talent, Rossi would fit the bill and would pair nicely with anyone in the current lineup. Expect it to take him a few years to be in the NHL, but I would not be shocked if he is knocking on the doorstep sooner than most people thought

  1.     Jamie Drysdale, Erie, OHL, D

        Unfortunately, this also falls under the category of a Steve Yzerman pick. This is not to discredit Drysdale as a player, but I am more concerned about the offensive state of this franchise, especially since Seider is the Wings #1 prospect now. As colleague Alex Drain put it, next year is the year to draft a puck moving defenseman. All that being said, I still think Drysdale should be getting the love Bowen Byram got last year. He had an exceptional year this year for Erie and played meaningful minutes as a 17-year-old defenseman for the Gold medal winning Canadian team at the WJC. Drysdale is a mobile defenseman who can get the puck up ice and participates actively in the offensive zone. Right-handed defenseman do not exactly grow on trees and finding one with his puck moving ability is tantalizing for any team. A 1st pairing combination of Seider or Drysdale/Hronek would put the fate of the Red Wings backend in good hands for years to come. Worth noting, Drysdale is my candidate for a team to reach on. If there is any shakeup in the top 3, expect Drysdale to be the cause of it.

Summary: The Red Wings suck. They sucked (at a colossal level) last year. They could suck just as bad this year. They suck at winning the lottery and that sucks. Alexis Lafreniere will not suck. All that sucks. However, the Red Wings are still able to draft a player that does not suck and could quite possibly, be the best player on their team in years to come. The Red Wings need to get better at every position, which is both a blessing and a curse. When you are picking #4, it allows you to be a little more creative with who you select. Let us just hope Stevie and the scouting department do all their homework. 


JBDC 2020 NFL Mock Draft 1.0



The first round of the NFL will be held on Thursday, April 23rd.

Pick 1- Cincinnati Bengals- Joe Burrow- QB

Lets not overthink this one too much, folks. Burrow is the best QB in the class this year all things considered. Cincy needs a QB and it just so happens that the guy who had the best individual season in NCAA history is available.

Pick 2- Washington Redskins- Chase Young- EDGE

Ron Rivera wants to 1) give Haskins a test run because it buys him another year in the event that Haskins is a bust and 2) as a defensive minded coach, drafting the best overall prospect who happens to be a defender is too sweet for the new DC Coach to pass up.

Pick 3- Miami Dolphins (Trade w/ Detroit)- Tua Tagovailoa- QB

Rather than gambling that other QB needy teams jump into this spot, the Dolphins make their move and get their quarterback of the future. They send Detroit the 5th and 26th (from Houston) overall picks along with a Day 2 and Day 3 pick. If they truly believe that Tua can be “that guy”, this is a win-win trade for both sides.

Pick 4- New York Giants- Isaiah Simmons- LB

Many other pundits believe that the Giants are going to go offensive line here, but I see Simmons as the guy who garners a lot of hype leading up to April 23rd. He covers the field like a safety and can bang at the line like a traditional linebacker. The Giants do need help everywhere and a prospect as versatile as Simmons could fill a lot of gaps.

Pick 5- Detroit Lions (Trade w/ Miami)- Jeff Okudah- CB

The Lions gain extra draft capital and still get their man. Judging by all their offseason moves, they are locked in on Okudah. He won’t be Darius Slay right out of the gate but he has all the tools to become a CB1 on any team in the league.

Pick 6- Los Angles Chargers- Justin Herbert- QB

A Chargers insider has indicated to me that they are locking in on the Oregon QB. While he’s not Tua; 32 touchdowns, 6 interceptions, and almost 3,500 yards in his senior season is nothing to be upset about. He is the heir apparent to the Rivers throne but L.A. will be content with sitting him and letting Tyrod “The Toolman” Taylor take the reins for a year.

Pick 7- Carolina Panthers- Tristan Wirfs- OL

You can never have too many good offensive lineman and Wirfs is the first off the board. Carolina will have their pick between him, Wills, and Becton. I feel they take an OL and, personally, I think Wirfs is the best of those three but any of them is an instant plug-and-play starter.

Pick 8- Arizona Cardinals- Mekhi Becton- OL

The Cardinals continue to invest on offense after their steal of a trade for DeAndre Hopkins. Becton, like I said in the pick above, is one of three top offensive lineman in this draft. Not as sexy as the Hopkins trade, but it makes everything better on offense. You would have to imagine that Cardinal fans from Phoenix to Chicago and everywhere in-between will have dreams of an explosive offense.

Pick 9- Jacksonville Jaguars-  Derrick Brown- DL

After dealing Calais Campbell to the Ravens, the Jags need to fill in that defensive line. While there were questions about Brown’s athleticism after the combine, the tape speaks for itself. He was a beast at Auburn and can potentially turn the Jags back into “Sacks-onville”

Pick 10- Cleveland Browns- Jedrick Wills Jr- OL

Cleveland was 22nd in both offensive and defensive efficiency last year but their major investments are on the offensive side of the ball so they are going to take the third offensive lineman in the last four picks. This is a make or break year for Baker Mayfield, if he can’t get it done with all those skill players and an improved offensive line, it may be time for another rebuild.

Pick 11- New York Jets- Jerry Jeudy- WR

Adam Gase, supposed quarterback whisperer, gets the best available weapon for young QB Sam Darnold. I absolutely love Jeudy as a prospect and think he could be the biggest “star” of this entire draft. I feel like this is a steal for the Jets.

Pick 12- Las Vegas Raiders- Javon Kinlaw- DL

The Raiders were dead last in the NFL in defensive efficiency. Kinlaw is the best defender available. The 6’5”, 320 lbs Gamecock is a physical specimen and shined in the Senior Bowl 1-on-1 drills. He has the potential to be an absolute game changer.

Pick 13- San Francisco 49ers (from Indianapolis)- CeeDee Lamb- WR

As one of many teams with multiple first round picks, the 49ers splurge on Lamb. Obviously, the 49ers don’t have many holes to fill coming off of a Super Bowl run and retaining all but a couple pieces. CeeDee was unstoppable as the main target at Clemson, there’s no reason he can’t make an immediate impact on a team that already has a budding star in Deebo Samuel.

Pick 14- Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Andrew Thomas- OL

Tampa invests in its line to protect new free agent acquisition Tom Brady (formerly of New England). Thomas is a big body (6’5, 320 lbs) and acted that way at Georgia. He mauled people then and, while he won’t necessarily be able to do the same in the NFL, he should still be a brick wall on the line.

Pick 15- Denver Broncos- Henry Ruggs III- WR

It appears that the Denver Broncos are going to make Drew Locke the quarterback of the future. They give him the 3rd best receiver in this draft. Ruggs has the speed to take underneath routes a long way and take the top off of a defense.

Pick 16- Atlanta Falcons- Patrick Queen- LB

A prototypical linebacker for today’s NFL. His speed allows him to cover linebackers and his strength allows him to engage at the line of scrimmage. Should be a day one starter and an excellent pick for the Falcons halfway through the first round.

Pick 17- Dallas Cowboys- CJ Henderson- CB

The Cowboys brought back basically everyone on offense so their focus here should be on the other side of the ball. Henderson should be able to start in man coverage packages on day one but there is still a little left to be desired in the tackling department.

Pick 18- Miami Dolphins (from Pittsburgh)- Grant Delpit- S

Winner of the Jim Thorpe award for the best collegiate safety, Delpit is South Beach bound. Miami already got their quarterback of the future and they dip back into the SEC for their quarterback of the defense. Delpit hits hard and should be a fine starting safety for years to come.

Pick 19- Las Vegas Raiders (from Chicago)- Justin Jefferson- WR

The Raiders love first round wide receivers and it actually fits this time. They have a nice slot in Hunter Renfrow and now need the receiver and can go up and get the ball. Jefferson is exactly that. He was the big play maker at LSU and Vegas Raiders are gambling that he can be the same guy for them.

Pick 20- Jacksonville Jaguars (from LA Rams)- Trevon Diggs- CB

Diggs is physical and plays the same way. This can leave him burnt at the line sometimes but with the right coaching, he should be able to adjust to the NFL just fine. If he has trouble in the secondary, at the very least he should be an elite special teams player.

Pick 21- Philadelphia Eagles- D’Andre Swift- RB

The Eagles dont really have a running back on the roster that they can trust. Enter Swift. An extremely consistent runner who is coming from Georgia, which has slowly become Running Back U. What he had shown in college, his pedigree, and the current situation in Philly should make Swift the starter the moment he’s drafted.

Pick 22- Minnesota Vikings (from Buffalo)- Jordan Love- QB

The Vikings were looking to wait a little bit to draft Kirk Cousins successor, but with the Patriots right behind them, they jump on Jordan Love. Love has all the physical tools to become a franchise quarterback. Learning from Cousins for a year or two should benefit both Love and the Vikings.

Pick 23- New England Patriots- K’Lavon Chaisson- DL

It would surprise me if the Pats trade back here, but as of now I feel they try to stock back up on defenders after losing many pieces on defense this offseason. Chaisson has the potential to be a beast once he finishes filling out. Any player going to New England should have Pro Bowl potential.

Pick 24- New Orleans Saints- Kristian Fulton- CB

Fulton could be the biggest risk we see here in the first round. He has great size for a CB at 6’0 and 200 lbs, but lacks a little bit of speed. He definitely benefited from playing on an all-time great LSU defense but there is enough there to vault him into the first round.

Pick 25- Seattle Seahawks (Trade w/ Minnesota)- AJ Epenesa- DL

The Seahawks know that the Lions are looking for more defensive line help so they jump two spots and grab the edge rusher from Iowa. He can fit any defensive scheme because of his motor, but his fine skill will need to be tuned up if Seattle wants him to become a force on the edge.

Pick 26- Detroit Lions (Trade w/ Miami from Houston)- Tee Higgins- WR

Seeing the best defensive line prospect taken just ahead of them, Detroit looks for receiver help. This is a little bit of a luxury pick but the Lions don’t have a wide out signed past this season. At 6’4, Higgins and Golladay will cause matchup nightmares for defensive coordinators.

Pick 27- Minnesota Vikings (Trade w/ Seattle)- Denzel Mims- WR

No ones stock shot up more at the combine than Mims when he ran a scorching 4.38 40. After dealing Diggs to the Bills, the Vikings are thrilled to pick up Mims in this spot. Some have questioned his love of the game, but at the 27th pick, the Vikings are more than willing to take the risk on the 6’3 speedster.

Pick 28- Baltimore Ravens- Kenneth Murray- LB

At 6’3 240lbs and with good speed, John Harbaugh should be able to find a way to use Murray in his defense. Murray is a play maker and has a real nose for the football. He can be a bit aggressive but thats easily correctable.

Pick 29- Tennessee Titans- Austin Jackson- OL

After losing starting guard Jack Conklin, the Titans will need to fill that hole so they can keep their ground game as punishing as it was last year. He has the size (6’5, 320) to be an elite guard but is still raw in his technique. It doesn’t matter to Tennessee though, Jackson has too much upside for him to slide past them.

Pick 30- Green Bay Packers- J.K. Dobbins- RB

Aaron Rodgers isn’t getting any younger and offensive minded Matt LaFleur wants to get him all the help he can get. Dobbins might just be the best running back in the draft with his speed, size, and pass catching ability. He torched the Big Ten at Ohio State for the last few seasons and will look to continue his success in the Midwest.

Pick 31- San Francisco 49ers- Xavier McKinney- S

The knock on McKinney is that he doesn’t exceed in anything, but does everything at an acceptable. With a 49ers team coming off of a Super Bowl run where they leaned on their defense, they make a bit of a luxury pick. McKinney will boost the 49ers other play makers by being so rock solid.

Pick 32- Kansas City Chiefs- Jeff Gladney- CB

The last thing the Chiefs need is help on offense. Thats why Gladney is the pick here. I’ve seen other mocks that have him going as high as the 12th pick. He is a little small for a corner but has all the athletic tools and right mindset to be a fine starting corner in the NFL.






Al Riveron is Public Enemy #1


I haven’t written an angry Lions recap blog in a very long time. Probably have to go back a couple seasons but here we are. What happened on Monday night was different. This one really hurt. The Lions finally have a pretty good team and to have a game stolen from them was one of the more painful things I’ve had to do as a sports fan. I definitely cant write a coherent article about the atrocities we saw unfold in Wisconsin, but here is just little clusters of things that have been pissing me off.

  • Al Riveron
    • Since this weasel fuck has taken over Dean Blandino’s position, NFL officiating has not only gone down hill, its fell off a cliff. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would clamor for the days of Dean. Al Riveron has turned officials into babbling idiots who cant make the simplest of calls. Also, the “challenging P.I.” experiment has been embarrassing, at best. Coaches are 1-24 on P.I. challenges. That means refs are overturning P.I. calls/no-calls at a 4% rate. There have been some obvious ones too that they are not reversing because they would rather lie and be blatantly wrong than admit that they missed it. This is all on this idiot Riveron. Nobody like him, nobody respects, and nobody in the league office cares. We are in officiating hell right now and Al Riveron is nothing short of Satan.
  • Accountability
    • The most irritating part of when the refs make major mistakes that swing the outcomes of games is that nothing will happen to them. They are just out on the field next Sunday botching the same calls as they did the week before. Could you imagine if you fucked up so bad at work that the final version of your project is completely different than what people thought it would be 10 minutes ago? You’d be fired. But if you’re an NFL ref, not a big deal. Forget that these players and coaches get paid extra if they make the playoffs, win the division, etc. I know this isn’t new knowledge to even the dumbest of football fans, but maybe the officiating office needs to hear this, the average length of an NFL career is 3.3 years. These players aren’t making enough money to live the rest of their lives after 3 years. These refs, by changing the outcomes of games, are messing with peoples livelihoods. Yet, not one ounce of punishment will come down on these old men who are calling things they aren’t seeing and ruining peoples financial futures.
  • Other Teams
    • This just never happens to other teams and when it does, the NFL snaps into action instantly. Look at the Saints. It’s funny though, one bad call against another team inspires a rule change that now fucks the Lions. Refs are now not throwing flags in hopes that replay of some sort will get the call right. Ha.
  • Martha and Bob
    • I need more fire and brimstone out of Martha Firestone-Ford and Bob Quinn. I am sure that they are talking to someone in the league office about what an absolutely shitty job the officials are doing, but they need to release a public statement. Not for them or the team, but for the fans. They need to show us loyal idiots that they won’t let the NFL stomp all over us only to get a simple “shrug emoji” in return. Stick up for us, fight for us, show us that we matter to you!!!!
  • “The Lions could have done more to win”
    • For the most part, yes. Most times you can say “don’t let the refs decide the game for you” but Monday night was not one of those nights. If the Lions had scored 84 points and held the Packers to -13, then the refs wouldn’t have been able to decide the game. But in a league where most games are decided by a score or less, you cant have the officials wiping away (in the Lions case) four huge plays. “The Lions should have made more plays to win!” What about the first Flowers “hands-to-the-face” penalty that negated a third down sack that would have forced a punt to the Lions up 9 with 9 minutes to go? Was making a clean sack and getting the ball back not a “winning play”? Or how about drawing pass interference to the Packers 20-yard line to at LEAST extend your lead to 5? Is scoring late in the 4th a winning play? Maybe forcing a field goal with 90 seconds left and giving your offense a chance to get a game winning field goal is a winning pay? It could have been had the loser and habitual liar Jeff Rice actually watched the game he was officiating. Take your “could have done better argument” and shove it up your ass.
  • Why me?
    • I seem to be asking this question quite a bit lately. Why me? Why do my football teams always disappoint me? Ive done nothing wrong. I try to be a nice person. I try to do the right thing. Yet, time after time my weekends get ruined whether the onus be on my team or the officials. It doesnt matter. Just know that every weekend of football I will get fucked at least once.

Friday Football Preview (10/4)


Iowa @ Michigan: A couple of thoughts on this game. 1) This is the turning point of Michigan’s season. If they come out and look good, the Wisconsin game will seem like a fluke and that Harbaugh has this ship back on the right course. If they come out and stink it up, then the season is wasted and Warde Manuel has to take a long hard look in the mirror on what he wants Michigan football’s legacy to be under his tenure as athletic director. 2) No outcome of this game will surprise me. A close game either way or a blow out either way. Every single possible result is on the table because we’ve seen a little bit of good and a whole lot of bad out of Michigan this year. Also, I may be much higher on him than others, but I think Nate Stanley is a really really good Big Ten quarterback. He will be tough to fool defensively. It hurts me to say this, but I think Iowa wins in a close one.

Michigan State @ Ohio State: If we are being completely honest right now, Ohio State should be the number one team in the country and I dont think its particularly close. They are steamrolling any team that they share the gridiron with. Michigan State’s only chance is that the defense travels and plays the game of their lives. MSU needs to muck up this game and hope for a few short fields and that the offense executes every big opportunity it gets. What MSU cant have is a series where they cause a turnover defensively then get zero points off of it. OSU is just so good everywhere. Give me the Buckeyes in a land slide.

Lions BYE: The early bye is actually favoring the Lions this year. They have a lot of injuries that this extra week will help. The only problem is that now the Lions need to play 12 consecutive weeks. We will worry about Green Bay on next Friday’s Football Preview but for now, lets just hope everyone gets/stays healthy through the bye.



NFL Gambling Picks:

Season Record (11-9)

Since gambling is all the rage online now, here are my picks for the weekend. Spreads are courtesy of Bovada:

Baltimore (-3.5) @ Pittsburgh

Minnesota @ New York Giants (+5)

Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (-3)

Denver Broncos @ Los Angeles Chargers (-6.5)

Cleveland (+4) @ San Francisco

Re-ranking Food Mascot Fights



So, this tweet came along my timeline the other day and it caused quite a stir in my world. While the chart is fairly accurate, there are some issues with it. Here are my rankings of Easiest to Hardest in terms of fighting.

  1. Gerber Baby: Its a fucking baby. I could kick the shit out of 100 of them at once. Light work for me. May use this time to stretch and get ready for tougher opponents
  2. Keebler Elf: Idk if elves can do magic or not, but assuming they cant this is just bizzaro world Gerber Baby. A 2 foot nothing and 11 lbs old man isn’t even gonna leave a scuff on my shoe. And if he does any damage to my clothes, one of his bitch ass sons can make me a new one for Christmas.
  3. Hamburger Helper Hand: This is the first opponent that could actually “hurt” me. If that hand latches around my throat it could give me a little scare, but I just assume its the size of a normal hand so a simple stomp should shatter its bones and life.
  4. Quaker Oats Man: He was ranked far too low. The easiest fight? That’s preposterous because at the end of the day he is a full grown man and will be significantly harder than an elf or a baby.
  5. Sugar Smacks Frog: A frog will never beat me in anything ever. There’s a chance it beats me in a “Most Like A Frog Contest” but even then I like my chances. He could smack me with his tongue, which is pretty gross, but, again, hes a frog.
  6. Jolly Green Giant: Yes, he is a giant. I am aware. But you know what he also is? Jolly. Jolly people don’t/cant fight. Mopping the floor with this green bean eating freak. I probably don’t even have to physically fight him. Just utter a little trash talk and this guy doesn’t know what to do.
  7. Lucky Charms Leprechaun: This is the first opponent where I might lose. Unlike the Keebler Elf, I know this little guy can perform magic. He could transport me to a different dimension and have me fighting in space or some shit. But, just by going off pure size, I should still be a slight favorite.
  8. Pillsbury Dough Boy: The biggest threat from the “Boy” is that he can absorb blows at an astounding rate. Kinda like that Simpsons episode where Homer is a boxer. I may punch and kick long enough that I just die of exhaustion.
  9. Yellow M&M: This dude just ate one of his own species in the latest commercial. I cant compete with that type of crazy.
  10. Bear?: I have no idea what brand this bear represents, but at the end of the day its still a bear. Me vs Bear is the first fight I go in to expecting to lose. If this bear is a black bear though, I have a very tiny chance. But if its a brown bear, plan the funeral yesterday.
  11. Chester Cheeto: This cat is flat out cool. He eats Cheetos and does drugs all day. That type of lifestyle just breeds confidence. I guess it really depends on what type of drugs Chester uses. If I had to guess, I would say that hes a crack or crystal meth guy. At that point, I would just accept my ass beating and beg for mercy.
  12. Red M&M: Remember the cannibalistic yellow one? Who do you think was the brains behind that operation?
  13. Trix Rabbit: This Rabbit will do ANYTHING to get some of that sweet sweet Trix cereal. He would dress in costumes, employ the help of Bugs Bunny, and undoubtedly whoop the ass of anyone who stands in between him and a bowl of sugary breakfast delights.
  14. KFC Colonel: The Colonel has seen some shit in his day. He may also be very tall? I’m not 100% sure but if I had to guess I would assume he is 6’4 and a lean 225. He also dresses sharp and swaggy people are tough to take down i.e. Joseph Stalin.
  15. Burger King King: Hes a king, yes. Kings do king shit. Fact! In order to claim the throne, you gotta kill a few people. I can not, nay, I WILL not get in a ring with a confirmed killer!
  16. Cap’n Crunch: Kind of a combination of the BK King and KFC Colonel. Swaggy and has killed people. Also sprinkle in some of that Lucky Charms magic because how does his cereal stay crunch in milk, Max Kellerman?!?!?
  17. Ronald McDonald: 1. Hes a clown. 2. He is THE clown. 3. How is he in such great shape while being the face of the leading corporation in the WORLD? All these facts point to one thing, he’s the hardest motherfucker out there. You cant get to the top without stepping on all the little people. I am man enough to admit that I am a little person. If I try to fight Ronnie Mac, I will just be another splotch on the bottom of his size 32 shoe.
  18. Mr. Peanut: My father was killed by a legume in a top hat/monocle/cane. My grandfather was killed by a legume in a top hat/monocle/cane. My great-grandfather was killed by a legume in a top hat/monocle/cane. My great-great-grandfather was killed by a legume in a top hat/monocle/cane. I will not fall victim to the Potocki family curse!
  19. Uncle Ben: Easiest mascot to analyze. He has straight “old man” strength. UB will beat my ass then sit me down and tell me that was because I cheated on an Accelerated Reading test in 4th grade. Not only will he physically beat me down, he will make me feel like I deserved it.
  20. Tony the Tiger: I will not sit here in the eyes of God and claim I can beat a tiger in a fight. I simply will not. No matter what the haters and losers, of which there are many, are claiming, you wont catch me stepping up to that handkerchief-ed feline.
  21. Kool-Aid Man: OH YEA this guy could kick my ass. He is an absolute unit. Mf’er breaks through walls at the drop of a phrase. Anyone who willingly smashes their face through any type of wall, is someone not to be taken lightly. He is aggressive. We can all agree that the red inside him is blood, but the real question is whos blood is it?

Friday Football Preview (9/27)


Rutgers @ Michigan: Not sure what you want me to say about Michigan football at this point that hasn’t been said on twitter dot com already. Last week was deflating. I thought they were gonna lose but the fact that Michigan wasn’t even prepared to share a stadium with the Badgers hurt. It was a sobering moment. We, as Michigan fans, need to look in the mirror and be serious about where the program is at and we may have to redefine our definition of “success”. At least, that’s where I am at. This crossroads of what I believe in and what reality is. Anyways, Michigan rolls this week because Rutgers stinks.

Indiana @ Michigan State: Honestly, I was in so much despair last Saturday that I did not watch any MSU. But, judging by the box score they did alright. Its a home game and, much like Michigan’s opponent, its Indiana. Indiana is much better than Rutgers, don’t get me wrong. They are just also a program that doesn’t know how to win. I don’t see MSU losing this game. I could see it being a frustrating day if the offense comes off the tracks though. Give me MSU by double digits.

Kansas City @ Detroit: This is the game of the weekend for Michigan natives. Two undefeated titans will battle it out for NFL supremacy. OK, well, maybe it isn’t that serious but it is a big time “prove it” game for the Lions. Mahomes is one of the greatest quarterbacks these two eyes have ever seen and on top of that they have nothing but speed on the offensive side of the ball. This is the biggest game in the Matt Patricia era and since the Lions last playoff game. It will be difficult, but there is some light at the end of the tunnel. This Chiefs defense isnt stout. Theyre giving up 6.2 ypc so the Lions should be able to play a little bit of ball control and keep that potent KC offense on the sideline. I expect it to be a one score game for most of the game but, alas, the Chiefs march towards their quest of league domination. Fear not, the Lions make a statement that they are here to compete on a week-in week-out basis. But, I’d be lying if I said in my heart of hearts I didnt have the Lions winning. Lets roll.


NFL Gambling Picks:

Season Record (9-6)

Since gambling is all the rage online now, here are my picks for the weekend. Spreads are courtesy of Bovada:

LA Chargers (-14.5) @ Miami

Carolina @ Houston (-4)

Seattle @ Arizona (+4)

Cowboys (-3) @ New Orleans

Browns (+7) @ Baltimore

Friday Football Preview (9/20)


Michigan @ Wisconsin: This is the first big test for the Wolverines this season. After squeaking by Army, Michigan took a bye week to try and get their offense straightened out. To me, this is the second biggest game of Harbaugh’s tenure at Michigan. That offense the first two weeks looked putrid and, honestly, it looked like Harbaugh still had a lot of influence on the play calling. Run after run after run after run. No creativity and no speed in space. But, on Saturday they can dispel all the negativity with an offensive outburst. It wont be easy considering Wisco had the number one defense in all the land, but Michigan just needs to show us an ounce of offensive creativity and I think the majority of the Michigan faithful will be back in on Gattis. Defensively, it will be interesting to see how Michigan does upfront against this Badgers’ offensive line. Wisconsin always has and always will have a great line to run behind. Stopping them and Heisman hopeful running back Johnathan Taylor will be difficult to put it lightly. I really don’t like this match-up for Michigan considering they have a speedier defensive front. The size might be too much. Unless the offense can be all that we dreamed it could be at the beginning of the season, Wisconsin might roll. I think Wisconsin defends its home field by a field goal.


Michigan State @ Northwestern: Oof that was a rough one last week for the Spartans. Just when everyone thought that Dantonio and the offense had figured it out, they set football back by 15 years. I really dont know if its coaching or lack of talent but something is seriously, seriously wrong on the attacking side of the ball. At this point, you have to wonder if MSU would just be better off only playing defense all game and trying to score via pick six. The defense is still as advertised. Did they give up a game winning drive to Arizona State in the final minutes of the game? Yes, but they played so strongly throughout the whole game that the levy was going to eventually break at some point. The offense did them absolutely no favors. As for Northwestern, I have no clue what kind of team they have this year. I just know that Pat Fitzgerald at home is never any easy out. Just off of recency bias for MSU and a general perception of NU, I think both Michigan based colleges take a loss on the road this week.


Lions @ Eagles: What a sloppy but fun win for the Lions last week! Not often do we see the Lions snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Typically the other way around. Maybe, just maybe, the tie with Arizona was a wake up call for this team. While the game against the Chargers wasn’t the most inspiring of performances but there were a lot of positives to take from it. All that being said, I like the Lions this week against the Eagles. On paper, the Eagles are a better team. No doubt about it. But they have an injury report a mile long and this early in the season, I think it means even more when a team is injured. They say that in early season football, games are won in the 4th quarter. Which ever team makes the most plays in the final 15 minutes typically wins the game i.e. Lions vs Chargers. So with Philly having so many key players out, I am going to favor the Lions in this one. Having to rely on backups to make big plays is a dangerous game. All the Lions need to do is get a little pressure on Wentz and they can walk out of Philly unscathed.*

*record wise, any team or fan that goes to Philly is at risk of being beaten to death because they uttered the word “Detroit”.


NFL Gambling Picks:

Season Record (4-1)

Since gambling is all the rage online now, here are my picks for the weekend. Spreads are courtesy of Bovada:

Detroit +6 @ Philadelphia

Houston @  LA Chargers -3

LA Rams -3.5 @ Cleveland

Chicago @ Washington +4

Miami @ Dallas -23.5


Friday Football Preview


There are reasons that I missed some usually scheduled blogs the past few weeks. That reason? Work. Yea, I have a job where I make money. Not a lot of money, but enough to pay the bills. I have a free 20 minutes or so, so heres the first Friday Football Preview of 2019!


Michigan vs BYE: Thank god. If Michigan played Wisconsin this week, they might lose by 100. This is the perfect time for the offense to get their shit together, hold on to the ball, and actually start calling some different plays. It has been so frustrating watching this team. Yea, they are in shotgun but they still run it in between the tackles every play so has anything actually changed? The defense is fine.

Arizona State @ MSU: The Spartans might be legit this year. We all knew their defense was gonna be one of the best in the Big 10, but now they have a shot at being one of the best in the nation at the end of the season. The biggest surprise though was the offense last week. It looked pretty fresh and Lewerke showed why people were so high on him after his senior season. I expect MSU to absolutely roll this game.

Chargers @ Lions: The Lions tied, yes. But, believe it or not, there were a lot of positives to take away from the Cardinals game. The offense looked good and the play calling was balanced for 75% of the game. The “time out” drive was pretty impressive for the fact that the Lions were able to run the ball very well despite Arizona knowing they were trying to run it. The defense looked great until they took their foot off the gas. It just seemed like the errors in that game were brought on by the coaching staff and those errors are much easier to fix than having players who don’t make plays. The Chargers are pretty beat up coming into this one but Phil Rivers and his merry band of children still can move the ball up and down the field. The defense is quite good too with Bosa and Ingram on the line. If Decker cant play or plays like he did last week, it will be a long day for Stafford. All that being said, I like the Lions a lot in this spot. Big time “prove it” week for both the players and the staff.



NFL Gambling Picks:

Since gambling is all the rage online now, here are my picks for the weekend. Spreads are courtesy of Bovada:

Green Bay -3 vs Minnesota

Miami +19.5 vs New England

Lions +1.5 vs Los Angeles

Jaguars +8.5 @ Texans

Browns -7 @ Jets


Hope Returned


The blazing summer sun has significantly cooled and the sweeping winds bring a certain bite. But what is it exactly in the wind that you feel? Is it the changing of the seasons? Its certainly possible. With the season change comes cooler weather. But, I don’t think that’s what is giving this invisible gust its tinge. There is an energy that follows the late summer gales. From experience, that isn’t the start of school. No, this unidentifiable force is something that brings along the heights of Mt. Kilimanjaro and the depths of the Mariana Trench. This is no fleeting feeling. These winds bring something to stay. In the whirlwind of changing seasons, football stops, stays, and takes over every tangible breath.

Every new season brings the one thing that most fans lose after a couple months; hope. Maybe, just some way, there is a path for your favorite team to capture the championship. Whether it be through pure dominant force or that every other team had a slew of injuries, there is always a way. Sure, you can lie to everyone and say your team is “going through a rebuilding year” or that “if they catch a lucky break they might be able to contend”, but deep down in the pits of your soul, you’re thinking there’s a way. It’s this weird thing we do with sports. The saying goes “expect the best but prepare for the worst” and it is a mighty fine way to live life. In football though, its sort of flipped. Prepare for the worst but expect the best.

Do I know that the Lions will not win the Super Bowl this year? Yes. I do. It sucks. BUT, maybe.  What if Patricia’s defensive philosophies continue to grow and the Lions have a top 5 defense? What if Bevell is the coordinator that can finally maximize Stafford in his 10th and most important season? Hell, Kerryon Johnson was one of the best backs last year before he got hurt and in this fan’s mind that is certainly a sustainable pace. The Lions got better this off season, that’s not me just slurring my words while drunk on Honolulu Blue Kool-Aid. Sure, a lot of other teams in the NFL got better too, but that’s not fun to think about. Then I start thinking about past seasons. The Eagles came out of no where to win the Super Bowl, same thing with Ravens a few years back. I tell myself that the NFL is this weird and wacky league where anything can happen. If you come up and ask me how I think the Lions will do this year, I’ll probably tell ya 8-8 because I know that’s the right prediction. But, if you asked my soul, you may have to lock me up into an insane asylum. Hope. 

It feels like Michigan will never be able to beat Ohio State. I told myself after last year’s implosion that I’ll never get excited for Michigan football until they actually beat OSU. Then all of a sudden here comes Josh Gattis and this new offense that will be the best of all worlds. It will have big plays, tempo, ball control, and Speed in Space™. That receiving group is too good to fail. Don Brown says that he’s done some soul searching and knows what he did wrong. He is going to go to more zone and respect the speed of opposing offenses. Dax Hill is just Jabril Peppers but bigger. I mean, yea, the defensive line lost its stars, but the depth of this years team! Now there is nothing but anticipation and National Championship aspirations. That’s whats great about college football too. Each season can be drastically different. You’re not dealing with contracts and free agents. You’re dealing with boys turning in to men. A crap shoot on genetics. There is this aura of the unknown that blankets college football like Jourdan Lewis on George Rushing. Weird, right? 8 months ago I thought Michigan would never be able to cross the bottomless pit of morals that is Ohio State. I was corpse of a fan. Now? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that we run them off the field in November. Its crazy. Its wild. It cant be measured or captured. Hope.

While it is so much fun to let the mind run wild, wanna know the best part about football season? Its the ride. The ups and downs of a 12 and 16 game season. If your college loses on Saturday, maybe your favorite NFL can win on Sunday and salvage the weekend. If they both win, you cant wait until next weekend. If they both lose? Lord help you. It’s watching games that may help your team in a tie breaker down the road. Its rooting for The Citadel to put a scare into Florida to knock them down a couple spots in the polls. Think about that for a second. Not rooting for the Citadel to WIN, it would be awesome if they did, but rooting them to just keep it competitive for 75% of a football game so 12 humans in a remote location may read the narrative that your favorite team is inherently better than a different team based on nothing but perception. The texts between four different group chats that are all essentially saying the same thing, either the sky is limit or its crashing down harder than the NCAA on a student athlete who put non-approved peanut butter on his bagel. That’s a 4-game suspension! The tailgating hours and hours before a game. The copious amounts of food and beer consumed while telling war stories about the best and worst games you’ve been to in person. Giving a complete stranger a hug like you’re seeing a long lost sibling for the first time in years simply because a man, who gets paid more in a year than you’ll ever make,  kicked an oblong ball through two poles from 126 feet away as an arbitrary amount of time ticks off a digital display. The best part about football is everything about football. Will both of my favorite teams season end short of where I want them to? Probably not. But, hot damn, am I gonna have a good time along the way. 

Lions Preseason Preview


Its that time of year again. The heat is starting to break, the kids are back at school, and football is on the horizon. Lions football is back, officially tonight, as they take on the Patriots in their first sanctioned game in about six months. There has been quite a bit of change in the Lions organization this past off-season and I dont want to write a preview for every single preseason game, so here are the top three things that I am going to look for this whole preseason.

  1. Darrell Bevell’s Offense

This is the first time we will get to see what Bevell really looks like calling plays. Obviously we wont be able to see the full playbook during exhibitions, nor should we, but hopefully we will see something that resembles those championship Seattle teams. Pounding the rock then stretching the field on early downs with play action. Again, I expect the play calling to be very vanilla but we should still see the changes in the offensive foundation

2. Who Plays

Its no secret that the Lions are protective of their players in the preseason (Stafford only playing 24 snaps last preseason). But, considering how flat the team came out last year, will Patricia allow his guys to get extra live reps to be a little bit sharper? Personally, I think he will but they will run very low risk plays on offense. Defensively, is a little different. They are pretty banged up on the line right now and chemistry is a pretty major factor for that unit. This will probably be something they try to build during practices. This line is talented enough though to where there shouldnt be too much of a rough patch when everyone gets healthy. Health, above all, is the main thing that should be monitored during the preseason. How many teams have had their seasons derailed because of an injury in the preseason? The Lions wont be the greatest team in the world but it would be really shitty to have to punt on an entire season in August.

3. Ty Johnson

I am very high on the 6th round running back out of Maryland. He has break out speed and can be an absolute problem for opposing defenses. With Riddick gone, Kerryon Johnson is expected to take the bulk of his receptions, but dont be surprised if we see Ty Johnson take his fair share. He should get extended looks in the preseason too. Expect to see him all over the field. He should be in the back field, in the slot, returning kick/punts, or just doing anything to get live reps and showing off his speed

My Attempt at Eternal Glory


The allure of conquest has always been the bane existence of man. From the earliest days of hunters and gatherers roaming around Pangaea to Lewis and Clarke traversing across the early American West to Neil Armstrong being the first man to walk on the moon. Humans have always been pushing the limits in the search for knowledge. It is what has driven us to our greatest accomplishments. Lately though, the human race has stagnated. When was the last great human advancement? The internet? We have become complacent as the top dog on the planet and I, for one, plan on reigniting that burnt out candle of wonderment.


Abraham Lincoln opened every speech with “Be the change you want to see in the world”. He was a great man and those are great words to live by. How can I sit back and criticize the likes of Elon Musk while I have yet to really contribute anything to the global society? It would make me a hypocrite, much like Joel Osteen or any other televangelist. I simply could not live with myself if I heard my name uttered in the same breath as the “honorable” Billy Graham. In a moment of genius, I knew what I had to do to help mankind.


THE WHAT: Eat two whole watermelons in one sitting

The task is quite simple. I have to eat two (2) entire seedless watermelons in one sitting. I originally was going to do just one watermelon but after walking by the watermelon bin in Meijer, I figured I could do one watermelon quite easily. No one has ever etched their name in history by taking the easy way out. How long is one sitting? I will sit down to eat the melons and will not be able to get up until they are finished or I give up. I will prep the watermelon into slices before the event. I will make sure I use the bathroom before the event. I will only count the endeavor a success if I can successfully eat both watermelons without having to get up.


THE WHERE: My house

Many great humans created their contributions in their own home (Edison, Bill Gates, the guy who invented A/C). I plan on doing the same. I must be comfortable. As much as I want to do this event on a stage, with the fans, and with the city, I simply cant. I’m not doing this for the fame. I am doing this for me, for all of us.


THE WHEN: This Saturday (7/27)

It was the first free day I had.
THE WHY: For the betterment of the human race

To my knowledge, no one has ever attempted this before. I’m not even sure a person can consume this much watermelon, but to live in the dark is worse than dying in the light. We need to keep pushing the envelope. The human race has become stagnant and I will take it upon myself to be the jump start this dead battery of a species needs.


Am I a hero? I wasnt put on this earth to answer that question. I will leave that up to the fans/media. I just know that whether I am successful or not, I wouldnt be able to live with myself if I didnt attempt this historically monumental feat. If you believe in a God, pray to him for me. If you dont, I just ask that you tell your family and friends you love them. Above all, please remember the where you were the day Dalton Potocki attempted to eat two whole watermelons.


Mount Rushmore of Cookout Sides


With the 4th of July right around the corner (tomorrow) its time to put out into the blog-sphere the Mount Rushmore of sides. I have to do a Mount Rushmore because I simply cant power rank them. Too much variability from side to side but this is just going off of my consensus. But why sides? Well, the sides at a cookout can make or break the entire event. You could have the best meats in the world but if that potato salad is shit, you’re going to have an awful time. On the reverse though, if the meats are bad but sides are good, you can fill up on sides no problem. There have been many times where I’ve went through the food line once, finished my plate, then went back for only sides. Don’t get me wrong, you cant have a cook out without meats. Cant do it, but the sides are a huge factor. I would say a good cookout is weighed out 50% meats, 40% sides, and 10% drinks. That being said, here’s the Mount Rushmore of cook out sides:


POTATO SALAD: An absolute staple. I really dont care about the type of potato salad either. It could be Amish, loaded, redskin, american, mustard-based, or mayo-based. It will always have a spot on my flimsy paper plate and in my heart.

MACARONI SALAD: Similar to the potato salad, it really doesnt matter what variation of this salad is out there as long as it stays loyal to its roots. Macaroni salad can be deep, flavorful, and light all at the same time. If you can get a mayo-based macaroni salad and pair it with a mustard-based potato salad, you may as well be in Heaven.

COLESLAW: This one could take some heat because I know a decent contingent of people, some I would even call friends, that dont like coleslaw. I feel I speak for the sane Americans when I say it is a top tier side. Again, doesnt matter to me if its mayo-based or vinegar-based. I like it all. You can also get a little CRaZy with it and put the slaw on your burger.

CORN (ON THE COB): Any corn here is fine, but on the cob is the most dominant form. Throw some butter on there and youre cooking with absolute gas. The sweeter and juicier the better.  Pro tip: Sprinkle a little garlic salt on the corn after the butter. You wont regret it!

TOUGHEST CUTS: Baked Beans, Watermelon, Grapes, Grilled Veggies

Pistons Get High (Value), Start Euro-Tripping


I cant tell if I’m just not caring as much as I get older or what, but the reaction to the Pistons 1st round pick seemed exactly like the Lions 2nd round pick in their respective draft. A resounding “who?”. For the Lions it was a Hawaiian linebacker and for the Pistons its a French swing-man. Sekou Doumbouya is the newest Detroit Piston and after staring at my TV for 2 minutes trying to figure out how to pronounce his name, Twitter came through and told me that this was a really good pick. Obviously it wasn’t universal praise, you cant please everyone. Here was the positive line of thinking: It was a good pick because he is a top 10 talent, he is raw but should develop into something. The negative line of thinking was: He might bust and if he doesn’t, his window doesn’t fit with Blake and Andre’s.

I am not here to tell you how to think. If I were, they would call me the Emperor of Thought. Alas, all you simpletons have to form your own dumb ideas. But MY thoughts on it are on the positive side. Many analysts pegged him as a lottery talent and the Pistons themselves even said that they were surprised that Sekou was there at 15. Do I think that his timeline matches up with the current Piston’s core? No. Now, that’s not to say he takes some early jumps and become a legit player within a year or two. But, I do think he is athletic enough to help right away. I like that the front office was able to take one of the best players available, address a team need (wing length+depth), and still kept an eye towards the future. I do think Sekou can be a top 50 player in the league. He has the body, the athleticism, and, from all accounts, the drive to want to get better. For player comparisons, I would say his high side is Pascal Siakam and his low side is Stanley Johnson.

The Pistons also traded some picks and got another Euro, Deividas Sirvydis, then drafted former Tennessee point guard Jordan Bone. Deividas sounds like he is going to stay in Europe for another year to develop. The jury is still out, for me, on this pick. If he can come over and be a legitimate shooter, then its a hell of a pick. As for Bone, he was the 57th pick in the draft. If he can contribute at all in the NBA its a win.


Sekou Doumbouya: B+

Deividas Sirvydis: N/A

Jordan Bone: B-


Obviously I am going to include highlight reels: