The Lions Suck and it’s Halloween

BY: DALTON

Two part blog today. Was trying to think of a way to weave Halloween and the Lions together, but I cant. I’m too brain dead from playing Xbox in every single free minute I have. So, here are two sort-of-separate blogs about things going on in my bubble of life.

Lions:

Well, they suck again, at least until next week. The only consistency we’ve seen out of this team through 8 weeks is that they are inconsistent. They came out and looked absolutely awful against the Seahawks, outside of the first offensive drive. Defense couldn’t stop anything, both run and pass. The most disappointing part of that is the pass defense. Multiple times a Lions corner back, not named Darius Slay, was in a position to make a play and they simply couldn’t.  The offensive line was awful for the first time this year and in turn, the running game couldn’t get going early on. Stafford played alright until the end of the game with two costly turn overs that can mostly be put on him. That’s enough of the game recap, you all know they sucked. But, even worse than sucking, Golden Tate was traded for a 3rd round pick to the Philadelphia Eagles. While I dislike the trade, I understand the other side of the argument of acquiring draft capitol in exchange for a guy who would only be here for 8 more games. Especially when you consider that we didn’t have a third round pick this year and 3rd round picks become starters around 30% of the time. The argument is that you’re getting something in the future for nothing in the future. I am, though, in the other camp. I dislike this trade for a couple of reasons. 1) It sends the locker room the wrong message. How can Patricia and Quinn go into that locker room and tell the players that they are still trying to win games after they trade away one of their most productive players? 2) The division is still wide open. The Lions, while in last place, are only a game out of first with half the season left and there isn’t a dominant NFC North team. We are going to devour each other in divisional play. I know the trade was a move for the future, but I’m fucking sick of everything being for the “future”. I’m 24 years old now, a young adult by all measures. I’ve NEVER seen the Lions win the NFC North. In every year of my life, the Lions have never been better than 3 other teams in a single season. And now, in a fluky year of all the competition being down, we are essentially punting the season away with 8 games left and only a game behind. Pathetic. I don’t even want to get into the compensatory pick argument because that is kind of a crap shoot. Also, it wouldn’t be until the 2020 draft. I realize that the Lions wouldn’t win anything this year in terms of “big picture” goals, but given the fact that the Lions have been horrible to the fans for 60 years, a divisional title would seem like a conference title. Now, does trading Tate make this offense significantly worse? Short answer, no. They still have Kerryon Johnson, Marvin Jones Jr., and Kenny Golladay. This will be an opportunity for KG to get more targets, but it is hard to justify trading your most electric play-maker.

Halloween:

If you don’t like Halloween, you have a big ole dump in your pants. Is it the greatest holiday in the world? Certainly not, but its still a lot of fun for all ages. Kids? Trick or Treating. Young adults? A more legitimate reason to get drunk than just, “its a Wednesday”. Adults? You get to dress up in costumes and forget about paying bills and lame stuff. Also, if you have infants, you can dress them in what ever outfit YOU want! Its not like they are going to fight back. They’re babies, they’re dumb as shit and can barely even walk. Also, Halloween offers the greatest holiday themed song in history. Its the Monster Mash. But Dalton, how can you say the Monster Mash is the greatest holiday song ever recorded? 1) Its a grave yard smash 2) The Christmas song market is over saturated and overplayed now that every station starts November 1st. The MM is only played on Halloween and that makes it that much more special. 3) The monster references are off the chart. I mean, every single scary character is there. I don’t hear Christmas songs with Santa, Jesus, Baby Jesus, Mary, and those 3 Wise (?) Men all in one song. 4) Outside of Christmas, there are no other holidays with songs. Easter sucks as a whole, 4th of July doesn’t have 4th of July songs, it just has patriotic songs that get jammed into the holiday. No Thanksgiving songs, no Valentines day songs, no Arbor Day songs.

In concl

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