This post is brought to you by JP’s Scrap Yard, Inc. The Midwest’s leader in scrap metal things and values!
5. Watching a football game: Whats better on a crisp fall day, where passion and tradition are in the air than an ice cold Sprite? Nothing!
4. At a funeral: Wow, so sad. Ya know what would make that better, pal? The refreshing lemon-lime taste of a Sprite!
3. Swimming: You don’t want to drink any of that nasty lake water when delicious Sprite is available for consumption!
2. Competing in an advanced computer hacking competition: You’ve been up for 72 consecutive hours. You’re growing weary and possibly coming down with scurvy. If only God created something that can give you the caffeine and citrus nutrients your body deserves. Well, God didn’t make that but our good friends at Sprite did! Drink Sprite!
1. When buying things from JP’s Scrap Yard, Inc.: Hands down the best way to Obey Your Thirst ™ and get your hands on some quality scrap! That’s actually how I met my first wife. I was looking at buying a door for my ’94 Jimmy and she was drinking a Sprite. The way that cool, crisp, refreshing, lemon-lime nectar hit her lips, I knew I had to have her. By her, I mean Sprite. Only way I could have that Sprite was if I married this woman in front of me. So I did. The marriage was awful. All we did was fight. We thought having a kid could save it but it only made it worse. The divorce happened and she took the house, the kid, and my ’94 Jimmy (which I just put a door on). But through all the heart break and fighting and lawyers, the one thing she couldn’t take from me was my invigorating Sprite! SPRITE!