Red Wings Season Update #1

11-12-5, 27 points; 5th in Atlantic Division

not-this-year
“We basically embarrassed everyone that’s worn the Winged Wheel tonight, and we have to live with that.” – Henrik Zetterberg

 

Hey everybody, it’s your good friend Matt here to keep you informed on how the season has been going so far for the Detroit Red Wings. As many of you may remember from the season preview series, the expectations are that this team develops its younger players, puts an entertaining product on the ice, scores a lot (and is scored on even more frequently), and ultimately comes up short of a playoff spot. Well, we’re about a quarter of the way into the campaign; let’s take a look at how the team has been playing recen-

ohgodwhy

OH GOD, WHAT IN TARNATION?! I can see now, what that Zetterberg quote is in reference to… Seriously, I knew the team was going to be bad this year, but that’s just an embarrassing scoreline, and on the 22nd anniversary of the Wings running Patty Roy out of Montreal no less. Surely this is just an anomaly right? Every team has bad games, after all…

schedule
The 8-2 win over Calgary fooled me into thinking we might be okay

Oh. Okay, that’s not just an anomaly; this team is simply shit. Their current seven-game losing streak is the team’s second such streak of six games or longer thus far, and the losses have rarely been about puck luck – the team is honestly just that bad. Of course, after Saturday’s debacle against the Canadiens, the Wings look like they’re about to snap this streak, as they lead the Jets 5-1 late in the third while I’m writing this. It’s certainly a nice response to one of the poorest excuses for hockey I’ve ever witnessed, but ultimately it serves as a hollow rebuttal toward my otherwise gloomy narrative: the Wings blow right now.

Questions as to Little Caesar’s Arena’s visibly empty stands have been brushed aside to this point as a product of the number of fans milling about the concourse during play; I thought that was a bullshit explanation, but I’d certainly believe that with the way the team has been playing as of late. I wouldn’t want to be subjected to the putrid product the organization is putting on the ice either. To all my hypothetical readers who are somehow on the fence about whether to start following this team or not, I have some advice for you: don’t bother; it isn’t fun. Take a walk, go to the gym, read a book. Find a new hobby for now – I’ve picked up home distilling, and if you want I can send you the recipe for the apple pie moonshine I’m working on.

This team has gone from being bad-but-exciting to just plain awful. Sure expectations were modest at best coming into the season, and yes, young players like Dylan Larkin and Anthony Mantha have made some of the leaps we were hoping to see out of them, but I don’t care; this is still a very disappointing place for the team to be. Even for as dreadful as the play has been, the Wings still sit just two points out of a playoff spot – though that is more a testament to how crappy the rest of the Atlantic Division is this year than a reassuring hope for the Wings playoff chances. If things continue on their current downward spiral, expect the Wings to have a new coaching staff by the end of the season. Jeff Blashill is on thin ice as it is.

In short,

expect nothing