BY: DALTON

With football season creeping up on us like a weird dude at the bar (that reference is for all my chick readers) ((sup?)) its about time this old timer gives a crack at the season schedule.  These predictions are based on every one staying relatively healthy for both the Lions and their opponents.

Week 1 vs Cardinals: Home/Season opener in the newly renovated Ford Field. When they opened up Ford Field in ’02 the Lions lost their home opener. I don’t think that will happen here. FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD:1-0

Week 2 @ Giants: Sal Palentonio only reports from the Meadow Lands. Thats bad news for the Lions because……idk the Giants are just a better team all around. What do you want me to say? FINAL RESULT: Loss     RECORD: 1-1

Week 3 vs Falcons: Super Bowl hangover has wore off for the Dirty Birds but I don’t think it will matter. I feel Matt Ryan had a fluky good season last year and that defense lost its edge. Julio will be a load but I have a lot of faith in Slay. FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD: 2-1

Week 4 @ Vikings: Vikings are going to be a good team this year. Not great, but good. Love everything about them except Sammy Sleeves aka Sammy Check-down aka Sam Bradford. He literally doesn’t throw the ball more than 10 yards down field. Dalvin Cook is going to be a nice back, maybe ROY, but the paper mache skeleton under center will hold this team back. FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD: 3-1

Week 5 vs Panthers: Despite them having an atrocious season last year, its bounce back time for the Panthers. Lions linebackers have no answer for Cam or Christian McCaffrey. River Boat Ron is also the strongest nickname in the NFL behind Frank Gore.                       FINAL RESULT: Loss     RECORD: 3-2

Week 6 @ Saints: The Lions got a huge W in the Super Dome last year but don’t expect that again this year. Saints are gonna Saint and throw up a billion points, especially if the Lions haven’t addressed their pass rush by this point in the season. FINAL RESULT: Loss     RECORD: 3-3

Week 7 BYE

Week 8 vs Steelers: lol FINAL RESULT: Loss     RECORD: 3-4

Week 9 @ Packers: See above. FINAL RESULT: Loss     RECORD: 3-5

Week 10 vs Browns: Gut check time for the Lions. They have lost 4 in a row and the lowly Browns are coming into town. Will they be the SOL or have they actually turned over a new leaf? FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD: 4-5

Week 11 @ Bears: First matchup against the Bears and I fully expect Trubisky to be the starter at this point in the season. The Chicago defense could be a top 5 defense in the league but a rookie QB and no receivers won’t bode well for the Monsters of the Midway. Stafford also wants revenge from losing last year in Chi-Town. FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD: 5-5

Week 12 vs Vikings: Thanksgiving Day game, on a 2 game win streak, and a chance to sweep a divisional opponent. Too many good things going for the Lions to screw it up.           FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD: 6-5

Week 13 @ Ravens: Is Flacco elite? No, but he has a good team around him and the Lions suck on the road against good teams. I don’t see this as game where Caldwell can reverse this trend. FINAL RESULT: Loss     RECORD: 6-6

Week 14 @ Bucs: Everyone loves the Bucs this year but I think thats just the “Hard Knocks” effect. I feel they will be around .500, similarly to the Lions, and the Lions do well against mediocre teams. Maybe a bit of reach here  but… FINAL RESULT: Win      RECORD: 7-6

Week 15 vs Bears: Bad Bears team at home and the playoffs just off the horizon, this is a must win. They get it done and get my spirits just high enough to come shattering down when they miss the playoffs. FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD: 8-6

Week 16 @ Bengals: Bengals are always the toughest team to gauge. They are the epitome of average. Like, how the hell am I supposed to gauge this game? I guess just take the L and hope Burfict doesn’t murder any of our offensive players. FINAL RESULT: Loss     RECORD: 8-7

Week 17 vs Packers: Hopefully the Packers have won the division and already secured a first round bye and are sitting all of their starters. Thats the best I can hope for.       FINAL RESULT: Win     RECORD: 9-7

 

I think that the Lions miss out on the playoffs because of some tie breakers. 9-7 is a decent record but not good enough to make a Super Bowl run. I hope I’m wrong though.