BY:DALTON

Via Daily Mail

“I stopped smoking because, to sit here and to talk about what I’m doing I want to be really clear, because I’m actually the most passionate about what I’m doing with this record.”

When Fallon asked her how much weed she had been smoking, Miley replied: “A lot of weed”

“No one has ever died from weed, but no one has ever smoked as much as I did”

 

So Miley Cyrus went on Fallon and talked about how she quit smoking weed to make this new album. To her quitting a habit, good for you Miley. Good for you for putting out a new album and really feeling passionate about it. I have a lot of respect for people who pursue their passions. And she’s right; no one has ever died from doing the marijuana. But here is where I take exception with Miss Cyrus. THERE HAVE BEEN THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE SMOKED MORE WEED THAN YOU. I know a hand full of people within a mile radius of me who smoke more weed than you. But Dalton, can you give me some names? Yea and guess what? I’m going to give you an entire line-up of people who smoke more weed than Miley.

 

  1. Snoop Dogg-Who else would lead off this line up? Dude is as consistent as it comes. Speed, power, and style. He does it all. Also, fuck spell check for marking his last name wrong. I didn’t accidentally hit the “g” key twice; I am talking about the Snoop D O double G.
  2. Willie Nelson- Solid two hitter. Not the first guy you think of but when his name gets brought up you go “OH YEA, that’s right, Dalton you’re so smart”
  3. Bob Marley- The man is the face of weed. I need him to get as many at bats as possible. When you become the Jerry West of bong hits, you are the star of the line up.
  4. Cheech Marin- Guy built a career off of the hijinks that happen when one is high. He fits the clean up hitter mold too. He doesn’t fit all the advanced metrics but he is an old school guy that when he connects, someone in the cheap seats is getting a souvenir.
  5. Tommy Chong- Obviously Chong was coming next. Tommy bats 5th because you cant separate these two and the name is Cheech & Chong, not Chong & Cheech.
  6. Seth Rogan- The premier stoner actor. From the munchies eating to the iconic laugh. As manager of this team, it is a blessing to have a player of this caliber this deep in the lineup.
  7. Josh Gordon- Guy lost his job because he cant stop smoking weed. Also, gave us the iconic Stephen A. Smith line “LAY OFF THE WEEEEEEEEEDUH”. Not for nothing, the best athlete on this list.
  8. Dave Chappelle- Joked about it all through his career, in his new specials and his old ones. Dave and his white friend Skip got into a lot sticky situations when they were high, but thank god they figured out where 3rd street was.
  9. Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton-bill clinton

P.S. The first 6 guys in this lineup were really hard to order. If you have any suggestions or revisions, just comment below.